In the April 2025 issue of Psychology Today, Amy Morin's article, “The Problem With Sugarcoating,” highlights the personal risks of being overly polite. While her focus is on individual behavior, this pattern of excessive niceness is increasingly common in organizations as well.
The recent push for inclusion, belonging, and "no assholes" policies has unintentionally turned kindness into excessive niceness—and with it has come a decline in performance.
Being kind and being nice are not the same. In a 2023 Inc. article, Jessica Stillman explains the difference: “Being nice is all about making the other person feel good. Being kind is about providing them with what they actually need. Nice is about feelings. Kindness is about concrete help.”
Before exploring strategies to combat a culture of niceness, let’s examine why it exists and the impact it can have:
Symptoms of a Too-Nice Culture
Fear of conflict. The "real" meetings and decisions happen before or after the group convenes. Being liked is often prioritized over achieving results.
Desire to please. Proposals are presented to satisfy leadership, with business benefits becoming a secondary focus. Bad news is often filtered or sanitized before reaching management.
Cultural norms. Employees may excessively defer to senior leaders, and motivating people can be valued more than holding them accountable.
Downsides of a Nice Culture
Slow decision-making. Because debates and discussions happen informally rather than in meetings, decisions are delayed.
Learned helplessness. Employees deliver mediocre performance because they aren’t challenged and don't feel empowered to drive change.
Stifled innovation. Challenging the status quo can feel risky, especially when likability is prioritized over constructive criticism.
A personal story: Years ago, I supported a company during the divestiture of one of its business units. I noticed that their executives prefaced nearly every statement with qualifiers like, “I’m not sure if this is right, but…” or “This might just be my opinion, but...” I found myself adopting this hesitant language to fit in.
Especially as a woman in corporate America, I had worked hard to remove those qualifiers from my speech. Being forced into that pattern made me question my own expertise and experience. I had to break free from it in order to communicate clearly and confidently—and better advocate for meaningful change.
Combating an Overly Nice Culture
Overcoming an overly nice culture requires openly challenging a mindset that leadership may have unintentionally fostered. Here are some practical tips:
Address performance issues promptly. Be clear and concise when expressing expectations.
Publicly challenge the status quo. Employees need to see leaders model the behavior they expect from their teams.
Provide "air cover" for those who speak up. Employees who take risks by challenging ideas or voicing concerns should feel protected and supported.
Creating a workplace that values both kindness and accountability can transform your organization's performance and culture. If your team struggles with excessive niceness, SRO Advisors can help you develop strategies that promote clear communication, bold decision-making, and empowered employees. Contact us today to discuss how we can support your organization in fostering a healthier, results-driven environment.
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